basics

Life is interesting in the church. Just two days ago, I was standing by the door after everything had finished - talking about the correlation between math and philosophy with Steven('twas his favorite topic), Sung-En and Lue-Yee. How the conversation got to Plato and his idea of the Ideal Forms I know not, but it did and I stood there with Steven explaining how Plato's thinking work. I am inclined to think of Plato as a fool, for history does make fools of each and every one of us, but as Virgil said of Descartes, "Even when he was wrong, he was systematically wrong, and with logical coherence." The point is, I can now satisfactorily form an opinion of Plato that is less than adoring because I know more of him, while the average person who does not is more likely to accord him adoring awe.

And this brings me back to church. I remember asking my mother once, "Why do praise God so much for healing us when it was he who allowed the injustices/illnesses to befall us?" This question did not come from the exuberance of a newly discovered opinion but from the saturated questioning mind. If you yourself are Christian, you would know, just as I did even before I asked the question (which then begs the matter of pointlessness) that the standard answer is to improve the human soul i.e. the 'through hardship we are bettered argument'. Moreover, Christians are told to praise God in our joy and to praise God in our suffering, as in reinforced by all the songs we sing. Thinking, then leads me to realize that there are basics of the Christian faith that are not at peace with my soul.

1. God as a Perfect Being
The Bible says that we were created for his pleasure. For his glory. Perhaps none of you share my sentiments, but this seems to be a rather self-serving. We never question God because we place him on a pedestal and give him the label "untouchable", just as many of us would do to Plato. But posit God as a man (which perhaps is less of heresy(?) 'cause of the example of Jesus). I doubt any of us would take kindly to a person who only wanted people to glorify him. Maybe a person who bought Aibos (RIP my dear doggie friends) and Robosapiens and programmed them to be forever prostrating themselves before him and singing praises to his name. But hey, we Christians have free will and can choose - at least we're not being coerced to do anything. But for those who believe, the choices are but two - believe and go to Heaven and enjoy everlasting life, or choose to deny God and go to hell and suffer everlasting death(?). As Yiding pointed out, in China the press can report everything the government would have them see and grow in prosperity or report the less savoury things and get thrown in jail. It's very much akin to the Christian choice, but nobody says that there is true freedom of the press in China. My God gets angry and he gets jealous. We talk of his agape love, and his boundless forgiveness, and his unending mercy - but when anyone in the Bible sins against God they are struck dead immediately or the ground opens to swallow them up etc. What if they would have repented? So God won't do anything immediate when a man sins against a fellow man, but when a man sins against God *BOOM* That's pretty righteous. For God, in the end its still all about himself. So if I can bring myself to act in a slavish way, what do I do? For one, I could go out and proselytize to every single person I meet, because I might be their only chance of making it to heaven.

2. The role of the human in divine plans
But if that were the stark choice and it's either heaven or hell and if God cares about "his sheep" so much, why leave it to the fallible humans. Just imagine that you're on ship and your kids fell overboard. You're this totally amazing guy, a trained lifeguard, you've swum the English channel, the Straits of Malacca, maybe even the Pacific Ocean and you know that it would be a cinch. Would you tell some wimpy otaku, "Go jump on in and save my kids."? If you really loved your kids, would you leave it to the wimpy otaku who might not stand a chance? Here of course, people begin to point out the incongruity of the analogy and say, "Well, if it were God, he would know that the otaku would make it." And so, let me bring you back to reality and say that "NO! The otaku doesn't always make it" and God knows full well. Will he consign those people people that we've failed to reach. those people we've alienated, those people we've failed to guide - all to hell just like that. Lets put you back on the ship, with your kids flailing in the sea. You might be thinking, "Hmm, that otaku needs to get a life. Maybe saving someone will make him stronger." But imagine that the otaku fails, how in all the world would that risk have been worthwhile?

Of course, the end argument is that while I can only say "how in all the world", the realm that God can comprehend transcends time and temporal boundaries. Maybe "in all of time" the otaku failing would have been worthwhile. I will never know. That's the argument that stands in front of me, like a massive wall that will never budge but an inch. I will never know. And I am compelled to say here, that all my arguments are made with the assumption that God exists.

I have no problem adhering to the morals and ethics brought on by the social contract, by communality. But how do I order my life around something that I doubt so very much.